We’ve all heard and talked about how girls like jerks and how guys who respect women are mostly single, blah blah. Why is it so? Is it that they like them just because they are bad? Really? Who likes bad things? Could it be that you’re doing something wrong?
Not their fault
What you should understand is, it isn’t their fault. Sometimes, in fact most of the times, they want to be attracted to you. They tell you stuff like “You’re a great guy”, “Your future wife is such a lucky woman”, “You’re so caring”, “You’re sweet”. They like all those qualities, yet they’re not attracted to you. Why is that?
The typical woman is in search of a leader. Read the previous sentence one more time. A leader. Good leaders know when to be lenient, when to be firm, when to be sweet, when to be democratic and when to be autocratic. They know when to be permissive and when not to be. They know when to allow subordinates to decide and when to decide for themselves and/or them.
When she asks you to make a choice for her, and you end up thinking so hard because you’re trying to choose what you think she has chosen in her head, guess what you’re heading to friendzone. Don’t end up saying “whatever you choose is perfect cos you’re perfect”. She may smile and say you’re sweet but you’re gradually losing your leadership role. Just make sure you make that choice for her. If it ends up being wrong, she might blame you, but she’ll forgive you (you don’t have to apologize if it’s a trivial decision such as which outfit to wear). Not choosing means you can’t lead her. You can’t lead the family (In her subconscious mind).
Your world is probably revolving around her
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not asking you to neglect the person you love. In fact neglecting them for extended period will make them feel unloved and you’ll lose them eventually. Don’t also stop your life and make everything about them. She likes you, she likes what you do, she likes hanging out with you, keep doing those things. She looks at you and thinks, “this guy has a great life, I might like to be part” only for you to see her and stop almost everything to go chase her. Then where’s the fun?
Stop calling her so many times, sending her messages on Whatsapp, Facebook etc. Slow down! Leaders are confident, self-motivated individuals. Don’t make it look like your life depends on her. She’s probably looking for someone to emotionally depend on and here you are doing the same! Give her some psychological air. Live your life.
Why she likes the bad guys
You might think she’s just stupid but if you look closely, she doesn’t like just any bad guy. In fact it isn’t because he’s bad, it’s because he possesses some qualities that good guys are too nice to exhibit.
- They’re expressive. They are not shy to express themselves. If she does something stupid they tell them “Hey I really didn’t like what you did. Don’t do that next time”. He may be harsh about it but she’ll forgive him because deep down, she understands he’s a man and naturally aggressive. Or maybe, “Your hairstyle looks good, the other one was just scary hahaha”. Meanwhile, you’re always saying nice things about her. She’s wondering if you even have the guts to face her and be truthful for once.
- They usually have an interesting life. The guy is living! He’s chilling, clubbing, going to the gym, having a good job, a lot of female friends. I mean she feels like a planet in his universe. Meanwhile, your whole life is smaller than one planet. It doesn’t mean you should go do all that stuff. It only means, you should live. Learn a new skill, like an instrument. Open up to other people and make a few more friends. Do something new once in a while without telling her or asking her to be part. Live without her, let her step into your world of excitement.
- They have options. Chances are, she wants to feel special, feel like the “one”. How do you make her feel that way when all you want is to hear her say “yes” to you? You make her feel your world will collapse when she leaves and that there’s no other person for you. That’s mostly a put off. Instead of making her feel you’re the one for her, you’re suppose to make her feel she’s the one for you. That you’ve met a lot but then you’ve decided to choose her. You’re the leader remember!
What do I do?! You’ve said a lot!
Simple. Just learn to say no. Learn to say no if it’s no you have to say. Don’t be afraid of getting her upset. She’s human she’s entitled to other emotions. Trying to always make her happy will make you appear fake. That is not to say, you should hurt her like bad boys do. Your task is to have the qualities without actually being bad. That way, you become the man that her mind and heart will both find irresistible.
The reason why I’m asking you to do this is, the moment you are able to say no to her when she demands certain things, you’d have broken that ‘over-niceness’, then you can read this article again and change a few more things. Remember, a small positive action, can start a domino effect.
This is just a starter. There’s more, but this should help you start being a great guy who is also not the I-like-you-as-a-brother kinda guy. 😉