life, Misc

Independence


I’m sure this is a quality you’d love to have that’s why you’re reading 🙂 . Well, I wouldn’t say I’m the most independent person but I am. I’ve been told several times and I know I am. No I’m not bragging lol.

Ok, ok, I have proof. I lived alone during my last year in college and was taking care of myself (with my dad’s money but still that’s some level of independence). Also, I’m living on my own as at this writing and I only just completed college so you see. I have this ability of being on my own and trying to be self-reliant.

It is important to know that independence isn’t the ultimate level. There is another level called interdependence. I am not talking about dependence, I’m talking about a situation where two independent parties decide to ‘synergize’ and be able to achieve more.

With that said, let’s move on to talk about how to be independent from my perspective.

  • Expect everything and nothing from everyone and no one
    • To be independent you should expect you to be the one to do everything. I know you’ve read books and heard people say: You should not be shy to ask for help when you need it. That’s a valid saying and hence the part of the topic that says ‘…everything…from everyone’. You need to be open to possibilities. Then again, you don’t want to be dependent so when those possibilities don’t show up what do you do? You don’t complain but rather quickly switch to ‘…nothing from no one’. You need to stop blaming others if you want to be independent.
  • Get approval from yourself
    • You want to be independent? Then you need to prove to yourself that you have the ability to do that else your subconscious mind will keep giving you reasons why you are incapable. I hear you say ‘Wow, this is gonna be tough…’ but it is not. I assure you. You just have to start small. Do something small all by yourself, write it in a journal or any book you keep. Go on and do another small thing (examples: doing your homework by yourself if you’re a student, buying your own dinner for once, etc.). It could be anything. Gradually you’ll have the confidence to do more things on your own and that’s it.
  • Take control
    • Stop handling your life keys to others. Stop waiting for your spouse or friend or boyfriend to make you happy. Take the keys to your life, open it up to new opportunities. I’ll give you a practical example: Instead of whining and complaining that no one is checking up on you, take 3 days and decide not to expect anyone to check up on you. After the 3 days, check up on them without complaining, let them feel you can live without them even though you love them.

I wouldn’t want this to get too long 🙂 . These are a few of the things I do to stay independent. I had to move to the next step which is interdependence but without true independence, you’ll just be a burden to the other party you want to have that interdependence with. Stay cool-headed and strong-hearted. 😀

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